Best Song Ever of the Day | The Secrets I Have Hid

The first time I ever heard this song, the listening environment was ideal. The song has haunted me ever since.

In my mid-20s I worked for an importer of high-end European stereo equipment. A key component of this is getting your equipment placed with reviewers. Michael Fremer is among the best of these reviewers, and he was someone who my boss turned to when he had an exciting piece of equipment to share.

It was in Michael Fremer’s listening room that I heard “John Wayne Gacy Jr”. Most people never have the opportunity to hear a song reproduced at that level; frankly, the law of diminishing returns makes such flights of consumerism seem ludicrous.

There are nevertheless some times when such ludicrousness proves its value. Placing that Sufjan Stevens record on that turntable and hearing this song reveal the secrets beneath its floorboards is something I can never shake. It has followed me for a decade-plus, subtly worming its way into my mind any time it pleases.

Few things have ever made me feel sadness more deeply. I will never forget this song. I never want to.