Out of Control

29 Oct | personal | 7 comments

I’ve become too cynical of late. I was talking to my boss’s daughter the other day, and she asked how I was. Rather than give a perfunctory “I’m fine” answer, I actually told her. What exactly I hoped to gain from this I do now know, but she was understanding enough for someone who had no reason to bother with me.

Why did I feel the need to foist myself on someone — anyone — like that? I can only figure that I am subconsciously trying to drag everyone else down with me. That’s just not nice… no wonder no one thinks it amusing when I self-flagellate any more.

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7 comments

  1. Marc Fort

    You are not alone.

    When people ask me how I’m doing, I tell them the truth. I tell them that “it ain’t easy being me.” When they ask me “what’s up?”, I tell them: “My blood pressure.”

    Everyone wants you to lie when they ask that stuff. But I just tell them the truth so maybe they will stop asking.

    When life is most depressing, I keep myself busy so I’ll be distracted from all the sadness.

    • Jesse

      If I lived in Austin, we’d be hanging out all the time. We could be morose together.

      At least someone else understands.

      • Marc Fort

        Just give me about 8 months…or less. I hope to join you in NYC. Maybe you can help me find a job, or just make new friends and stuff.

        • ms_mj

          When they ask me “what’s up?”, I tell them: “My blood pressure.”

          LOLOLOLOL. hey morpha, it’s formerly michcapish here butting in on your convo. I’m sorry but above line cracked me up. It’s hard with people online if they’re being serious or not. :-/ but i think you have so many things to be thankful for. honestly. knowing me for instance.

          hello jesse, i’m supposed to be working right now but procrastinating instead by reading random LJs. if i was the girl, i would have appreciated your response instead of the ‘I’m fine’ answer. At least the conversation would have started from something truthful.

          When life is most depressing, I keep myself busy so I’ll be distracted from all the sadness.

          sigh. where is this melancholy coming from? pls add me so i can read your friends-only posts.

          • Marc Fort

            I knew you had a new journal, but I have never known the name of it…until now.

  2. Billy Nitro

    Why would you lie, anyway?

  3. Andey

    i wish someone would shoot your face off.

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